Worst Mother of the year Award...

So I deserve the worst mother of the year award...

This weekend we went camping with Kevin's family on Friday out past Cedar Fort. We only planned on staying during the day and evening and returning to our super comfy bed for the nights. So we got home like around 11 pm on friday night and I got Jackson out as he had fallen sound asleep and started to carry him down our front stairs to our basement apartment entrance (about 10 concrete stairs). Halfway down the stairs Kevin thought it would be a good idea to turn the porch light out to keep Jackson asleep but he did it while I was halfway down- and midstep, suddenly it was pitch black and I lost my footing and fell down about 4 steps or so and dropped Jackson and hit his head really hard on the concrete. I was screaming and hysterical and trying to find blood or a hole in his head. I carried him inside with both of us bawling and checked him out, but couldn't find where he hit. He started to shake really bad and started to drool a foamy drool so we took him to the Emergency Room. They took him right back and looked him over and decided he needed a CT Scan. This was just as traumatic as the fall. He was so scared and was crying while holding his kitty cat. The x-ray tech was getting really mad at me for not stopping him from crying and was telling me "This is a complete waste of time if you can't get him to stop yelling and sit completely still" or sighing angrilly and mumbling "this won't work." "This will be a complete waste of money if he doesn't stop." I was trying to calm him and sing his favorite songs and help him take deep breaths, when the x-ray guy came out with tape and taped his head down in multiple spots... This was so not helpful! Finally Jackson calmed enough to get the CT scan done and I grabbed him up and took him back to his room.

The doctor thinks he will be fine and that it is a complete MIRACLE that the damage wasn't much worse! Needless to say I felt terrible and was so devistated for days. I was mad at Kev too for turning the lights out on me like that though, but mostly I was mad at myself. He seems great though, and I have just some scrapes and bruises.

We were truly lucky, it could have been so much worse!

Driving, Driving, and more Driving....

OH where do I even begin??? So about a month ago I stopped working because the nanny job just wasn't working out for me anymore and then two days later Kevin got laid off for the 7th time in a row!!! Terrible timing. Poor Kev, it's not his fault at all, just a slow building market. The day Kevin was laid off we were headed to California for Kevin to take the Written test for the California Highway Patrol application process. Kevin has been pursuing this for a few months now and is excited to possibly be working for them. Anyway, so since we both aren't working anymore we decided to spend an extra week in California and see my brother Matt who lives in Santa Maria (Central Cali). So Off we went driving for the first of many trips. We got to see my sister Angie in Long Beach and spend Easter with them. After the 10 days in California we came home because Kevin had school and found out that he passed his test and needed to be back in California in 4 days! So we finished unpacking and washing our clothes and put everything back in the suitcase and headed out again for his Physical test and a board panel interview. (This is trip #4 for Kev, and #3 for me and jack in 6 weeks, the first was an orientation meeting with the CHP and the second was his first attempt at the written test) He ended up passing the physical test and did a great job on the interview and we will find out how he scored on the interview in 3-4 weeks. The CHP tests are designed to be extremely hard to pass to weed out the people who aren't extremely dedicated. Kevin has done incredible so far on the tests and we are excited to find out how this one goes. If he passes the interview he has three other tests to pass before being invited to the police academy. All in all we ended up in California for exactly half of the month of April and have been so busy and driving so much that our heads are swimming! Jackson has been an absolute champ in the 70+ hours he's been strapped in his carseat!!!

Riding Dumbo in Walmart of Cedar City

Staying entertained in the car... best car toy ever!!!

More stickers... kept him entertained for hours.

Playing at the beach in Santa Barbara... Jackson loved the sand and water and had so much fun.

My brother Matt is a chiropractor in Santa Maria and the president of Kiwanis and organized a "Safe kids fair" while we were there. This is his booth, there was a line at it the whole time and he was on the news 4 times while we were there. He did an amazing job.

Jackson doing the bike obstacle course at the safe kids fair.

Kiwanis were giving helmets away to all the kids who did the bike rodeo so Jackson got his first helmet! Thanks Santa Maria Noontime Kiwanis!

Matt, his son Michael and the reporter after one of the news broadcasts. Matt was a natural on live TV.

Another pic of Jackson at the bike rodeo.

Jackson and his cousin Michael at the park.

The beach by Matt's

Tide pools

Easter party with Angie's Long Beach Ward. Jackson with all his cousins.

Easter bunny Jack

So Cal beaches....

We are totally exhausted but had a lot of fun going to the ocean and spending tons of time with my family. Hopefully Kevin will do well on the interview and we'll be headed out there again... but not for a few weeks (thank goodness).

Cancer Update:

First off I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the sweet comments you all have left, it has really been wonderful to know that people love us. As for a little update on my dad, things are not great.

He got some results from his biopsy and was able to meet with his doctor last week. Prostate cancer is scored on a scale called the Gleason Score that rates the severity of it and if they think it has spread. The Gleason Score ranges from 1-10, a 1-3 being really low, not a huge concern, and a pretty common score. A 9 or 10 is considered very very agressive, likely to have spread already, and pretty advanced. My dad's score was an 8, so pretty bad considering there isn't much difference between a 9 and 10. One of the regions tested positive for spreading, he will be getting a bone scan and CT scan done this week. The two areas that prostate cancer tends to spread to is the lymphnodes or the bones. If it has spread to the lymphnodes they might do surgery or chemo or radiation or some combination. If it has gone to his bones there isn't much they can do for him. The best they can do is slow it down, but its extremely painful and terminal. So if it has spread we are praying it isn't in his bones. Of course I am completely overwhelmed and devistated but two of my sisters from out of state came to see him so it was a wonderful relief and distraction to have them here. Thanks again for all of the love and support. I need friends more than ever right now.

CANCER SUCKS!!!

I am so sick of cancer! I hate it, it is so awful. Most all of you know that just two years ago my husband Kevin had cancer. That was the HARDEST time of my life and was tramatic to say the least. I had a 3 month old baby when Kevin was diagnosed and was batteling terrible post-partum depression and anxiety. Our lives were turned upside down in one day, on friday Kevin was completely fine and pain free, on saturday he woke up with his testicle 2 to 3 times the normal size and pain. He didn't tell me about it all day but at around 5:00 that evening he started to worry a bit and showed me it. Just weeks before a co-worker of mine that I was close to got testicular cancer and was in the middle of his cancer battle so cancer was fresh on my mind and so to be safe we took Jackson to Kevin's parents house and told them we were going out on a date and went to the instacare. This is when everything started to fall into place... My family physician who I absolutly love and adore happened to be working an extra shift in the instacare we went to and checked Kevin out, he determined that he had a big infection (which he did) but I mentioned my worries of cancer so to be safe made a quick call to the hospital and caught an ultrasound tech who was packing up for the day and asked him to wait for us to come to get an ultrasound. If we were just 20 minutes later we would have had to wait till monday. The ultrasound tech was really open and honest with us even though he isn't allowed to say anything by law, he told us that there was a large solid mass, which is always a bad thing.

Before we were out of the parking lot of the hospital I had placed a call to my old boss who is the wife of the best urologist in the area. After telling him what the ultrasound said he said he would definatly need the tumor removed and he happened to have some time monday morning to get Kevin into surgery. One more thing that fell into the place...

Needless to say Kevin had surgery and they got all of the tumor out and he proceded to go through 3 solid weeks of radiation at the hospital. He has now been cancer free for almost 2 years. It was a whirlwind to go through and we learned a lot and went through a lot as newelyweds and new parents.

Having my husband go through cancer was terrible and today I learned that the other most important man in my life has cancer, my dad.

I was so unprepared for this to happen, not that you can even be ready for cancer... I am in shock and just so heart-broken to know that he will be batteling prostate cancer. He is 65 and thankfully just got on Medicare which will help with all the costs. I think in a daughters eyes her dad is always this strong man that is invincible, so it is such a hard blow to know that he is sick. I don't know much about treatments yet, we will be brain-storming tonight at my mom and dads. I just hate that cancer is hurting another of my loved ones.

The Bean Museum

So I don't have any pictures to go with this post, which I hate, but the story is pretty funny.

I took Jackson and Charlie (The 3 year old I tend) to the Bean Museum today. It was a pretty fun little outing, My friend Kori met us at the Museum with her kids and so we all set off to see all the animals. I'm sure most of you have been here- if not, it is full of all sorts of animals all dead and stuffed, I actually find it a little disturbing.
Well, Charlie was a little angel, obeying the rules, staying by me, and behaving... Jackson on the other hand would dash right under the velvet rope that is supposed to keep you out of the exhibits (yeah right!) and would start petting the animals! eeewww, gross! So as I'm pulling Jackson out of the Zebra exhibit he starts yelling "No mom! I ride him! I ride him!" okay, so this is the same kid who wouldn't ride the sweet pony named "butterscotch" at Thanksgiving Point, but offer him a dead Zebra to ride and he is all ready to go!!! So I tried to explain that the animal isn't real and we can't touch them. Before I know it Jackson is in with all the deer petting another one and trying to climb on it's back! I ran over there and Jackson started screaming "no mom" and knowing I was going to stop him he started petting the deer so vigorously it's hair started to shed! AHHHH so GROSS!!! So at this point we left, before they kicked us out.

Oh man... it's really funny and even at the time I was laughing, but still pretty gross...

Mommy, I climb!

Jackson came out while me and Kevin were making dinner the other night carrying a tiger that I keep way up in his animal hammock and he was saying to me "Look Mommy I climb!" He was so proud of himself, so I grabbed the camera and asked him to show me. Me and Kevin were laughing so hard. He is seriously a little billy goat mountain climber...

Playhouse Disney Live!

Quite a few weeks ago we got to take Jackson to Playhouse Disney Live on stage at the ESA. It was kind of expensive but it was so much fun. They had Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, The Little Einsteins, Handy Manny, and My Friends Tigger and Pooh.

Jackson wore his best Mickey outfit and a pair of Mickey ears, he looked so cute.

Sleeping on the way there (thank goodness)

We had my niece Aysa staying with us for the weekend so she got to go to the show with us too. We loved having her there, but it probably was a little too adult of a show for a 13 year old ;) she was a good sport.

So all in all, it was a blast and Jackson talked about it for days- BUT if you end up going in the future Do NOT promise to buy your kids a toy from the show, that is, unless you're willing to pay $40 or $50 for something you can buy at Walmartfor $15, even the snowcones were almost $13! CRAZY! (Everyone was buying them though...)